Going back to the beginning

Friday night. I just got out of seeing Pirates...first movie I have seen in months. I snuck into the (full price) matinee after work today. It was pure escapism and probably would have been a bit better had I not been relegated to the second row, but I do love seeing movies in LA. Since I was seeing the afterschool special version, the audience was filled with teeny boppers that didn't get the jokes and did not recognize nor did they appreciate the presence of Keith Richards as Jack Sparrow's father - genius!!!!!!!! Although I haven't updated this thing in weeks I came to the computer tonight to write for real and this is just a way to procrastinate. I must confess something...I have been holding back on you. So much has happened that I am not telling you because the anonymity of this blog is compromised and therefore I don't feel as free to reveal certain events like I used to. Don't get me wrong - I love that you guys read this - it just would be easier to let go and vent if it were strangers reading as well...I guess I will have to find an alternative venue for that. Speaking of which - I have been invited to join a writing group. The problem is that the minute the opportunity presented itself I became creatively stunted and feel like I have nothing new, different or interesting to say or even how to say it if for some reason I had thought of something new, different or interesting.

So here I am with my 11 pages of script that I wrote in a fury in August while at the good doctors before my computer died - it is staring at me - mocking me for not having the right software to format and the training to write it well. Still, I am going to smooth it out over the next day or so and turn it in as my first sample to test the waters so to speak. I have to reassess my book before I send it to anyone - it is such a big endeavor - somehow a script seems easier to handle.

I am also sitting here on a Friday night waiting for cracky #1 to call me from the west side after taking one of her Promises friends to get a pee test. Did I want to come with? No thanks. I just do not have the energy to drive all the way down to Santa Monica after my day with my brother. Yes - I actually had a visitor! He came in Wed night - we went to the Dresden Room for dinner which is kind of like eating inside a time machine - the food included. With its large, round, white leather booths, red meat and potatos menue and kiss ass waiters(not to mention the lounge music coming from the other side of the restaurant) you might as well be stuck in time. The next day I took him to Runyan and he was quite impressive - pushing me to sprint down the staircase...he is in training for Kilimanjaro! We went for a beautiful walk in my neighborhood - which sadly I have not done since January - then he met cracky#1 when we went for lunch at this little French cafe in the village. It was an interesting merging of worlds to say the least. After that we drove down to the beach and then went for sushi before I took him to the airport. See what you guys can enjoy if you come to visit??

I am thinking about the camp reunion and am happy in a strange way that I am not there. Sound weird? Well I have been so entrenched in that world and as much as I loved it - it is suffocating and this is proof positive that I have gotten away from that and allowed myself space to become something new. Don't get me wrong - I am not talking about the company by any means...I will have to think about this some more so I can express it better. Read between the lines however - you may get what I am talking about.

Here is a nice metephor to leave you with tonight:
You know what - I wrote this long story about my grandma going into the home this spring - but it isn't necessary. Bottom line is - sometimes what you think is your worse case scenerio turns out to the be the best thing for you and suddenly you find yourself where you need to be.

Happy Memorial Day Weekend everyone....Over the course of the next few days take some time out to remember. Memorialize those who have passed - especially in the belief that they were giving their lives for a greater good. What would you lay down your life for?

Na-na