So I thought I had it made. Back at the agency for the rest of the summer - making enough money to pay my bills and have some left over to save for August. But life came along and laughed inthe face of my complancency and naivite. Friday evening - when all the prinicpals in the agency were in Europe or NYC, I was called int the biz manager's office (who only works one day a week and is clueless) and she tells me that this is going to be my last day. She tells me this at the very end of the day - when it is too late to scramble to get something together for Monday. Bitch - with NO explanation and NO warning. I had a verbal agreement to stay through July. I am so frustrated and so tired of the scramble for money and for jobs. The fact that I only have five weeks to work makes it difficult for me to find anything. Many of you (all of you in fact) reading this can judge all you want and say - get out there and find something, but I have been living with this precarious circumstance for a YEAR and it is fucking exhausting and has not allowed me any time off all year. I appreciate that I have somewhere to go in August and thank god for that, but I still need to get my needs met through August and right now I am so burne dout on working 10 hour days for less than 100.00...getting $400.00 bucks a week is little motivation although I don't have much of a choice. So I slept in Topanga Canyon last night, had a relaxing evening - did my laundry (which is so much better than a Laundry Mat) and am farting around. I am allowed to fart around. Don't know why I am getting so defensive - I am just tired of the struggle - which yeah yeah yeah I created.
This is week two of no dairy, sugar, booze, cigarettes and diet soda. So far so good.
OK - I am going to check out the application for subsitute teaching and see if I can fanagle my way into the system.
mahalo!
Na-na
Monday, June 25, 2007
Wednesday, June 20, 2007
Clean from the inside out!
Como Vay! That's protugeuse for what's up yo!
I have so much to share. As you might have read over the course of the year - I have been struggling to find my center - and my purpose here in good ol LA LA land. While on this journey I have met some strange folksies and have finally stood up for my sanity and kicked Cracky #1 to the curb. I know some of you are thinking, yeah right, we are going to read another post where you make up and hang out at Runyan, but no. We are not in a fight. That Friday night dinner I had, while lovely and fun was the last straw. She pulled me onto the porch and told me that she wasn't having any fun at the party and essentially it was all my fault beacuse I had an agenda (getting into this njb/manwhore's pants.) I told her that my only agenda was for everyone to have a nice time and she went off on me telling me what a horrible person I was and what a looser I was - how I was never going to do anything with my life etc... We had a very intense discussion about who we were as friends and people. I decided right then and there that we were just too different froom the core on up to be friends anymore and that I had no reason to listen to her bullshit drivel anymore! So I wrote her an email thanking her for the goodtimes and telling her that I wasn't sure that I could be friends with anyone so cruel. She told #2 that I broke her heart and was sobbing for a few days (she told me her mother had a heart attack when she really didn't and was attacking me for not running to her when I found out.) Really I don't care anymore because I feel much better without her in my life - like I am finally free to be myself and it is a beautiful thing.
I have been doing a lot of reading on the Macrobiotic way of life and it makes so much sense to me - especially in light of all my other spiritual pursuits so today is day three of no dairy - no sugar and I feel great! Wait a few months and I am going to be so clean, dirt wont even stick as I walk by.
This past weekend was fantastic. The girls and I went to the Hollywood Forever cemetary to watch Rebel Without A CAuse. It was so fun. There were almost 5,000 peeps there all chilling out, drinking wine and laughing at the homoerotic undertones that riffle their way through the film. Then Sunday Aimee and I went to this BRazil fest thing at the Ford - which is this tiny little Ampitheatre int he hollywood hills. The place was packed with authentic Brasilians and they were all so happy and free and damn damn sexay - people were dancing in the ailes and on stage as well. Aimee pulled a dead head move and we snuck on stage and samba'd till it hurt - really. I was giddy from all the dancing and so want to travel to Brazil and feel all that giddy freedom first hand. As much as I love being Jewish - I hate that we come with all these neuroses about our bodies and sex.
Only 6 more weeks to go at the Agency. Yesterday an X-xfile came in trying to look 20 years younger - it was a bit uncomfortable. I think he got hair extensions or something. Nice guy though. Don't think he got the job - they don't want to pay much for the spot. Planning a girls weekend in San Fran for the end of July...that is something to look forward to. In the meantime I am enjoying eating healthy and standing up for myself.
Lots of love from LA - nana
I have so much to share. As you might have read over the course of the year - I have been struggling to find my center - and my purpose here in good ol LA LA land. While on this journey I have met some strange folksies and have finally stood up for my sanity and kicked Cracky #1 to the curb. I know some of you are thinking, yeah right, we are going to read another post where you make up and hang out at Runyan, but no. We are not in a fight. That Friday night dinner I had, while lovely and fun was the last straw. She pulled me onto the porch and told me that she wasn't having any fun at the party and essentially it was all my fault beacuse I had an agenda (getting into this njb/manwhore's pants.) I told her that my only agenda was for everyone to have a nice time and she went off on me telling me what a horrible person I was and what a looser I was - how I was never going to do anything with my life etc... We had a very intense discussion about who we were as friends and people. I decided right then and there that we were just too different froom the core on up to be friends anymore and that I had no reason to listen to her bullshit drivel anymore! So I wrote her an email thanking her for the goodtimes and telling her that I wasn't sure that I could be friends with anyone so cruel. She told #2 that I broke her heart and was sobbing for a few days (she told me her mother had a heart attack when she really didn't and was attacking me for not running to her when I found out.) Really I don't care anymore because I feel much better without her in my life - like I am finally free to be myself and it is a beautiful thing.
I have been doing a lot of reading on the Macrobiotic way of life and it makes so much sense to me - especially in light of all my other spiritual pursuits so today is day three of no dairy - no sugar and I feel great! Wait a few months and I am going to be so clean, dirt wont even stick as I walk by.
This past weekend was fantastic. The girls and I went to the Hollywood Forever cemetary to watch Rebel Without A CAuse. It was so fun. There were almost 5,000 peeps there all chilling out, drinking wine and laughing at the homoerotic undertones that riffle their way through the film. Then Sunday Aimee and I went to this BRazil fest thing at the Ford - which is this tiny little Ampitheatre int he hollywood hills. The place was packed with authentic Brasilians and they were all so happy and free and damn damn sexay - people were dancing in the ailes and on stage as well. Aimee pulled a dead head move and we snuck on stage and samba'd till it hurt - really. I was giddy from all the dancing and so want to travel to Brazil and feel all that giddy freedom first hand. As much as I love being Jewish - I hate that we come with all these neuroses about our bodies and sex.
Only 6 more weeks to go at the Agency. Yesterday an X-xfile came in trying to look 20 years younger - it was a bit uncomfortable. I think he got hair extensions or something. Nice guy though. Don't think he got the job - they don't want to pay much for the spot. Planning a girls weekend in San Fran for the end of July...that is something to look forward to. In the meantime I am enjoying eating healthy and standing up for myself.
Lots of love from LA - nana
Thursday, June 07, 2007
In June I truly think it's best...
Good evening. It has been a while since I have updated this blog, but today was such a meshugena day that I thought I would give it a shot if I could get internet access when I got home. Where to begin? Well I thought I would attempt to have an adult dinner party, but evidently I invited all the wrong people because once again, it turned into a middle school drama and I feel like I am stuck in this random box that is covered in mirrors and not letting me out! Not sure I want to get into too many details - it is embarassing how juvenile the whole thing is but I invited cracky 1 out of pity or as a defense in case she found out later I had a dinner party and didn't invite her...well she assumed that invited her cuckolded boyfriend which I didn't - major drama ensued but we worked it out. Then another invited party invited her friend without asking...this was the girl from the cinqo de mayo party that made everyone feel uncomfortable by hooking up with everyone's freind right in front of us the whole night when it was just a small group. People - if you are hanging out in a small group - do NOT lay claim on someone - especially if he is the only single man at the party and grope all over him and make everyone else uncomfortable...wait until you are alone for gods sakes! So cracky #2 s very upset that this girl is coming because she wanted to flirt with the guy in question and cheat on her boyfriend...which she will regret once she decides that she is back in love with the European boy toy...really there is so much other drama that goes along with this but I am not going to get into it.
This was the first month that I really did not have money for the rent. Mostly because I was told to pay the people that could ruin my credit first, but that left me very behind and the fact that it is going to take weeks of pay to catch up and then start all over again trying to find $$ for july and all those July bills - very stressful. How do people raise entire families on nothing? This year has been an amazing eye opener for me. Wow. So I sucked up my pride and called the voice over place withthe crazy lady and I got work there next week for twice what I have been making at the Hallmark channel - which is great. I may have work at a tutoring center but not sure yet...the heb school is sending me a signed contract in the mail so that I know it is real and I don;t have to slit my wrists or move back home - this is all good news. Somehow I am going to make it through the next three months...not sure how but I will. The chicken soup I am making smells a little funny..I tried a different way than usual (OK the other two times in my life I have made it.) I guess the fact that none of my guests for shabbos dinner are Jewish should make the soup factor moot....but still I want it to taste like grandmas!
Sorry that I don't have the patience to tell you more - nor do I think you have the patience to sit through it all...but sat the rooftop of the standard is having a party with free jello shots and on sunday DJ logic is playing a free show with Ozomatli downtown and then I am going to see Ben Folds and John Mayer at the hollywood bowl. Not a bad weekend.
Happy Friday and Shabbatshaboner!
na-na
This was the first month that I really did not have money for the rent. Mostly because I was told to pay the people that could ruin my credit first, but that left me very behind and the fact that it is going to take weeks of pay to catch up and then start all over again trying to find $$ for july and all those July bills - very stressful. How do people raise entire families on nothing? This year has been an amazing eye opener for me. Wow. So I sucked up my pride and called the voice over place withthe crazy lady and I got work there next week for twice what I have been making at the Hallmark channel - which is great. I may have work at a tutoring center but not sure yet...the heb school is sending me a signed contract in the mail so that I know it is real and I don;t have to slit my wrists or move back home - this is all good news. Somehow I am going to make it through the next three months...not sure how but I will. The chicken soup I am making smells a little funny..I tried a different way than usual (OK the other two times in my life I have made it.) I guess the fact that none of my guests for shabbos dinner are Jewish should make the soup factor moot....but still I want it to taste like grandmas!
Sorry that I don't have the patience to tell you more - nor do I think you have the patience to sit through it all...but sat the rooftop of the standard is having a party with free jello shots and on sunday DJ logic is playing a free show with Ozomatli downtown and then I am going to see Ben Folds and John Mayer at the hollywood bowl. Not a bad weekend.
Happy Friday and Shabbatshaboner!
na-na
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