Hey there ho there.
What a weekend. For those of you who are not aware, I spent the weekend being spiritual - taking a class how to be a good and happy person. It is just the beginning of a long journey, but I am so excited to see where I go from here. Did you hear that? Me - excited about life and my future. Very good.
Just got the initial unofficial CBEST scores. I guess you need a score of 41 to pass each section even though it is possible to pass with as low as 37 on a section if the other sections make up for it and add up to 123. I got (drumroll please) exactly a 41 on the math - phew! Which means that I passed without the help of my reading or writing sections. This is great news. THis means that unless they are illiterate and can't read the big words I used in my two essays, I have unofficially passed the CBEST and can try to get a job subbing - although it is not that easy and I still have to get transcripts etc which is a pain in the ass.
It is a great relief to know that I may be done with Math forever - unless of course I choose to move to a third state wherein I must take another ridiculous exam. That makes four teaching exams in a row that I did not study for and still passed (at least I passed 2/3 of this one so far.) What does that say about the educational system in this country? Don't you think that all teachers should be challenged in order to be put in front of children? Lawyers and Doctors and Accountants struggle with their board exams...Hell JFK jr. failed the NYS Bar how many times? But folks like me can walk into a teachers exam with no preperation and do fine. Listen I am not saying that I am of average intelligence, because let's face it I'm brighter than the average bear (except when it comes to math) but it should be a bit of a struggle to earn the privilege of teaching.
Cracky #2 is on her way over. I haven't really seen her in the three months that her bf has been in town from Holland. She took him to the airport today and is really bummed out because I think she realizes that she put her whole life on hold for him and let go of all of her relationships. But I already told her that I was hurt so there is no need to make her feel worse about herself - so I told her to come over and I would her feel better.
I promise I will give more details later on my class -
Oh - I got to meet Barak Obama this weekend - a pretty good perk for a volunteer who was working the bathrooms.
Congrats to the Spyceter for being done with Classes forever (until he goes to biz school.)
na-na
Monday, April 30, 2007
Wednesday, April 25, 2007
And There You Are....
Sometimes you can wonder where your life is - you know, the one you are supposed to be living...and realize that this is it. This is your life and to strain to unwrap yourself from the trappings of it - is to laugh at the universe - because there is no unravelling - It is like when you get a new dvd and you work really hard to take off that plastic wrapping, only to realize that you have mistakenly taken off the cover too in your enthusiasm. So I am stopping to notice that the plastic is off - this is my movie - I bought it, it's already been opened and is ready to watch. It is the watching that is painful -
Yesterday I found out that I didn't get the job with the Lit manager - the one that told me I was the best and asked how old I was and if I was single. I am Ok about it - I knew I wasn't going to end up there and never felt that excited about the job, but the manner in which it was handled was just wrong and made me even more frustrated about Hollywood than I was before. My recruiter told me that they "changed te specs on the job and wanted to go with someone heavier." I guess heavier is hwspeak for someone with more experience. Ummmm to be someone's bitch? I asked her what it was that I was missing but she couldnt answer me because she was full of shit! This was a job that she told me I was allowed to get excited about - that they loved me. When I called last week to see if i could get sent out on more interviews she told me no - to hold on and wait to see if this came through first. BULLSHIT! Then she wanted me to take time out from work so I could sit in her office and talk about what it was that I was doing wrong. Not when I can be making money instead - sorry. I never called to make the appointment. There is not a day that goes by when I do not send my resume out to someone somewhere. TOday - I gave my resume to the company next door to us - what the hell right? They are the producers of Reno 911 - which I think is ridiculous - but people like that shit.
Today at work was really busy for a change. I had a bunch of people come in to record and while I was busy n the booth - Martin Sheen came in and kept giving me the eye like he wanted to talk to me. It wasnt until later tha I realized that he saw me looking at him and talking to the guy in the booth - he probably thought I was talking to him and wanted to know what the hell I was saying. Can I just state for the record that he is the absolute hottest AARP member that I have ever seen? And personally, I'd do him - or at least go out to dinner with him - he is married right? Yeah - just dinner - I bet he would have some great stories to tell. Charlie hasn't come in yet, but I am assuming if he is a younger version of his father????mmmmmmmmm. So yeah, work has some perks and I get to record people and direct them so that they are better cartoon characters or car salesmen.
What else....oh the social life has been a racaus adventure as always, but I am pretty sure that it is time to grow up and change my scene. The problem is that I never meet anyone that is my age or older, bceause they are all married with kids and I am not hanging out at the mommy and me classes and they aren't working with me in the office....so where am I supposed to meet normal people that are my age????
I am supposed to be taking this class that I put a big deposit down for this weekend, but I haven't heard back on whether or not I have been accepted. I have really been looking forward to it - so I hope it all works out. I am volunteering for my boy barak on saturday night after my class at some shi shi club on Sunset...haven't heard back about that either so.....who knows. Still waiting to hear about the teaching job - I think I should be hearing by next week - who knows. I am just going to keep doing what I am doing and try not to stress out about it so much.
The sabres rule - wish I had a tv or better hours so I could sneak off and watch at asports bar.
I am sure there is so much more I want to say. I haven't been having the best luck with the internet so things sort of go out of my mind that I want to put in here.
I miss everyone terribly and cannot wait till I get a chance to go back east.
Much Love,
Na-na
Yesterday I found out that I didn't get the job with the Lit manager - the one that told me I was the best and asked how old I was and if I was single. I am Ok about it - I knew I wasn't going to end up there and never felt that excited about the job, but the manner in which it was handled was just wrong and made me even more frustrated about Hollywood than I was before. My recruiter told me that they "changed te specs on the job and wanted to go with someone heavier." I guess heavier is hwspeak for someone with more experience. Ummmm to be someone's bitch? I asked her what it was that I was missing but she couldnt answer me because she was full of shit! This was a job that she told me I was allowed to get excited about - that they loved me. When I called last week to see if i could get sent out on more interviews she told me no - to hold on and wait to see if this came through first. BULLSHIT! Then she wanted me to take time out from work so I could sit in her office and talk about what it was that I was doing wrong. Not when I can be making money instead - sorry. I never called to make the appointment. There is not a day that goes by when I do not send my resume out to someone somewhere. TOday - I gave my resume to the company next door to us - what the hell right? They are the producers of Reno 911 - which I think is ridiculous - but people like that shit.
Today at work was really busy for a change. I had a bunch of people come in to record and while I was busy n the booth - Martin Sheen came in and kept giving me the eye like he wanted to talk to me. It wasnt until later tha I realized that he saw me looking at him and talking to the guy in the booth - he probably thought I was talking to him and wanted to know what the hell I was saying. Can I just state for the record that he is the absolute hottest AARP member that I have ever seen? And personally, I'd do him - or at least go out to dinner with him - he is married right? Yeah - just dinner - I bet he would have some great stories to tell. Charlie hasn't come in yet, but I am assuming if he is a younger version of his father????mmmmmmmmm. So yeah, work has some perks and I get to record people and direct them so that they are better cartoon characters or car salesmen.
What else....oh the social life has been a racaus adventure as always, but I am pretty sure that it is time to grow up and change my scene. The problem is that I never meet anyone that is my age or older, bceause they are all married with kids and I am not hanging out at the mommy and me classes and they aren't working with me in the office....so where am I supposed to meet normal people that are my age????
I am supposed to be taking this class that I put a big deposit down for this weekend, but I haven't heard back on whether or not I have been accepted. I have really been looking forward to it - so I hope it all works out. I am volunteering for my boy barak on saturday night after my class at some shi shi club on Sunset...haven't heard back about that either so.....who knows. Still waiting to hear about the teaching job - I think I should be hearing by next week - who knows. I am just going to keep doing what I am doing and try not to stress out about it so much.
The sabres rule - wish I had a tv or better hours so I could sneak off and watch at asports bar.
I am sure there is so much more I want to say. I haven't been having the best luck with the internet so things sort of go out of my mind that I want to put in here.
I miss everyone terribly and cannot wait till I get a chance to go back east.
Much Love,
Na-na
Tuesday, April 17, 2007
Erev Tov....mah zeh?
Hey there boys and girls.
So I had a long morning at the heb school today. As I was driving in I asked one of the teachers if it was OK to park...she looked at me and said "mah?" - what? I thought wow - this is going to be a different experience than SweetHome. I wondered if I was too different. The Israeli guard gave me a hard time but I finally convinced him that I was safe and he let me park. I walked with my gigooondo portfolio (which no one even looked at btw) to the Starbucks across the street and met up with the head of the English department. We chatted about me and the school and education in general. IT was nice - she is around my age - married to the Asian chemistry teacher (scandal!) and it turns out that she grew up unaffiliated - which made me feel a whole lot better about things. The school is pretty loose, but in a way that is cool - it allows you to do whatever you want and experiment with different kinds of pedagogy without worrying about state wide assessments etc.. We chatted for an hour and I realized how much easier it was for me to talk about teaching than it was for me to talk about movies or the entertainment industry on any of those interviews...everything that came out of my mouth was spontaneous, natural and sincere. Easy. WE walked into the school and she walked me right into the classroom without really preparing me so I just went with it and started the lesson. The kids were just like the kids from Hebrew High and from camp. It was a pleasure teaching them. They were neurotic, perfectionists, smart, funny and challenging. I was nervous and had certainly packed way too much into the lesson, but I somehow managed to get it done within the time frame. I walked around and talked to a few more students and teachers - everyone was so warm...it was like being at Shaary Zedek teaching Hebrew School again. I felt much more comfortable than I thought I would. I went in and had a chat with the principal - who hails from the HArvard school of education - not bad. We talked about Vygotsky and educational philosophy - he gave me a bibliography and said that he enjoyed my lesson - although you couldnt tell that as he sat stoic in his little desk chair. Anyway I had been there for almost 3 hours at that point so I headed to Bev Hills for work - where I accidentally put a giant (even the mecanic said so) dent in the passenger side of my car. Those of you who were familiar with peebo will be happy to know that I am getting it fixed on SAturday morning for 50$ and some beer! Aren't you proud of me - so grown up. I was a wreck and work and ended up leaving because I felt so terrible and couln't even focus. PLus they don't pay me when I am not there so I didn't feel guilty at all. I saved them almost 100 dollars - wahoooo. So I still haven't heard back from the other job, but I have to say that I was more excited about the teaching job than I have been for any other interview I have had since moving here. I think I am really a teacher - Hello, my name is Na-na and I am a teacher. Yeah. Who knows. The best part...all the Jewish holidays...the dept chair told me that next year was particularly vacationy in terms of heb holidays...that means I can come home to visit and have time to write - it might just be the perfect thing....if the pay is any good. So we'll see. I think it is going to end up being a couple of weeks before I hear anything and I may have to go back in for another interview.
I will certainly keep you all up to date. Tomorrow is another day after all. I think there is some big hot movie star coming in tomorrow but honestly I could care less. I am immune to hot make movie stars at this point. All I want them to do is read their copy and leave...some of them are sooooo needy...Nance - can I listen to myself again - can we do that again for the 30th time - I am not sure I got the tone right when I said that McDonalds was the world's classiest burger joint. What an experience. I do like the animation auditions though I have to admit - those guys can really crack me up. I have yet to be really entertained by any of the female stars....they think they're funny, but they're not (plus they don't have a penis and the right kind of scruff.) Too much info.
Good night everyone. Lihitraot! Na-na
So I had a long morning at the heb school today. As I was driving in I asked one of the teachers if it was OK to park...she looked at me and said "mah?" - what? I thought wow - this is going to be a different experience than SweetHome. I wondered if I was too different. The Israeli guard gave me a hard time but I finally convinced him that I was safe and he let me park. I walked with my gigooondo portfolio (which no one even looked at btw) to the Starbucks across the street and met up with the head of the English department. We chatted about me and the school and education in general. IT was nice - she is around my age - married to the Asian chemistry teacher (scandal!) and it turns out that she grew up unaffiliated - which made me feel a whole lot better about things. The school is pretty loose, but in a way that is cool - it allows you to do whatever you want and experiment with different kinds of pedagogy without worrying about state wide assessments etc.. We chatted for an hour and I realized how much easier it was for me to talk about teaching than it was for me to talk about movies or the entertainment industry on any of those interviews...everything that came out of my mouth was spontaneous, natural and sincere. Easy. WE walked into the school and she walked me right into the classroom without really preparing me so I just went with it and started the lesson. The kids were just like the kids from Hebrew High and from camp. It was a pleasure teaching them. They were neurotic, perfectionists, smart, funny and challenging. I was nervous and had certainly packed way too much into the lesson, but I somehow managed to get it done within the time frame. I walked around and talked to a few more students and teachers - everyone was so warm...it was like being at Shaary Zedek teaching Hebrew School again. I felt much more comfortable than I thought I would. I went in and had a chat with the principal - who hails from the HArvard school of education - not bad. We talked about Vygotsky and educational philosophy - he gave me a bibliography and said that he enjoyed my lesson - although you couldnt tell that as he sat stoic in his little desk chair. Anyway I had been there for almost 3 hours at that point so I headed to Bev Hills for work - where I accidentally put a giant (even the mecanic said so) dent in the passenger side of my car. Those of you who were familiar with peebo will be happy to know that I am getting it fixed on SAturday morning for 50$ and some beer! Aren't you proud of me - so grown up. I was a wreck and work and ended up leaving because I felt so terrible and couln't even focus. PLus they don't pay me when I am not there so I didn't feel guilty at all. I saved them almost 100 dollars - wahoooo. So I still haven't heard back from the other job, but I have to say that I was more excited about the teaching job than I have been for any other interview I have had since moving here. I think I am really a teacher - Hello, my name is Na-na and I am a teacher. Yeah. Who knows. The best part...all the Jewish holidays...the dept chair told me that next year was particularly vacationy in terms of heb holidays...that means I can come home to visit and have time to write - it might just be the perfect thing....if the pay is any good. So we'll see. I think it is going to end up being a couple of weeks before I hear anything and I may have to go back in for another interview.
I will certainly keep you all up to date. Tomorrow is another day after all. I think there is some big hot movie star coming in tomorrow but honestly I could care less. I am immune to hot make movie stars at this point. All I want them to do is read their copy and leave...some of them are sooooo needy...Nance - can I listen to myself again - can we do that again for the 30th time - I am not sure I got the tone right when I said that McDonalds was the world's classiest burger joint. What an experience. I do like the animation auditions though I have to admit - those guys can really crack me up. I have yet to be really entertained by any of the female stars....they think they're funny, but they're not (plus they don't have a penis and the right kind of scruff.) Too much info.
Good night everyone. Lihitraot! Na-na
Monday, April 16, 2007
jobby job update
OK - what a day. I never have anything to do at work so I figured I could write the lesson plan all day today...don't you know that today was the day that the boss was on my back all day - asking me to do things - wanting updates etc...so I still managed to get it done and I am excited about what I put together. The question is - is it appropriate for a Orthodox Jewish day school - I am used to Swethome thugs ya know? Oh well - if they throw me out - at least it gave me 1/2 day off from work! So minie meyers was in last night - we had such a great time. Ended up taking her to Fred 62 for a late night dinner with her friend - who is very cute and nice - poor guy was so sick but he held in there till almost midnight. So I went to work hoping I would find out one way or the other about the other job...the hollywood job and what I got was feedback - there were a lot of applicants - they really liked me and I am in the running. Blah blah blah..I have been down this road before. My recruiter said I am allowed to get happy about this but I am not going to get excited about anything until I get the job offer.
I did some more research on the day school tonight and it seems that it has more controversy than Kadimah...apparently enrollment is down and teachers of the feeder school try to tell students not to go there because the head master is an ass and it is too liberal. Lord knows I don't have a problem with chaos and libertines - bring it on!!! Anyway first I have to teach the lesson then they have to not stone me for being a heathen - then they need to offer me the job and tell me what the pay and benefits are then I will think about it.
Ok - just got off the phone with JN in NM and she sounds great. It is so hard to love so many people that are so far away but thank god for the old telephone.
Ok - going to bed now so I can wake up arly and maybe get my ass to do some exercise before the interview - I need to get back into shape.
Later...na-na
I did some more research on the day school tonight and it seems that it has more controversy than Kadimah...apparently enrollment is down and teachers of the feeder school try to tell students not to go there because the head master is an ass and it is too liberal. Lord knows I don't have a problem with chaos and libertines - bring it on!!! Anyway first I have to teach the lesson then they have to not stone me for being a heathen - then they need to offer me the job and tell me what the pay and benefits are then I will think about it.
Ok - just got off the phone with JN in NM and she sounds great. It is so hard to love so many people that are so far away but thank god for the old telephone.
Ok - going to bed now so I can wake up arly and maybe get my ass to do some exercise before the interview - I need to get back into shape.
Later...na-na
Sunday, April 15, 2007
Sunday time sandwhich
Good Afternoon:
It is a sunny Sunday afternoon and I am having a very relaxing day since yesterday was crazy. Before I forget I want to tell you about my dream and how I got woken up this "morning." I was having a very bizzare dream - no need to get into all the fucked up details but I do remember that I was at my old house and there was a party. I kept leaving and not helping. Don't know where I went - probably to my present LA partying life and then I would open up a door and be at 331 Forestview again with lots of people there - almost like it was a shiva house though - not a celebratory event. My mom wasn't there is was my Aunts and they were so hurt that I wasn't helping out in the Kitchen or cleaning anywhere else in the house. I kept sneaking a snack and then ducking back out again pouting and chasing my new pet around - he was some hybrid bunny I think. If anyone here really knows me you would know that me having a pet was probably the weirdest part of this dream. Anyway at one point my aunt asked me for some tea - but I spaced out and left. When I came back later to grab something I thought her eyes were going to bug out of her head and she was demanding tea - then my oldest uncle was at the kitchen table and he wanted me to make him some tea. I got so mad at this but wanted to show that I could help so I made cups and cups of tea with honey - which I have never seen anyone in my family drink. There were a lot more things - like a reoccurring piece where I am in a hotel, but do not know how to get to my room...that is a whole other story. Anyway I was feeling really bad about myself when I heard my phone ring and it woke me out of the dream. It was my aunts on the phone - they were cleaning out my grandmas apartment (she is now in the "home") and they wanted to know if I wanted anything. I told them that I wanted some of the pictures that were on the wall, but my one aunt that got very mad at me in the dream got mad at me in real life, and snapped in the background that she was taking all the pictures back to her house and if I wanted them I could make a copy of them the next time I came home to visit. OK. What can I do to help? What can I do to ease my Aunts stress al the way from out here except tell her that I love her, appreciate what she is going through and pray for my grandma that she finds some peace. When I left Buffalo, saying goodbye to my grandmother was so hard. She cried and cried. I think she knew it would be the last time we would see each other. Don't worry, I am not giving up on my grandma - she is a tough lady, but even if I somehow get a chance to go back soon - it isn't the same grandma I used to take out to breakfast or dinner and who would ask me about boys and tell me stories. Having had those moments with her makes my time in Buffalo all that more special. Part of me feels relieved that I don't have to see her like this - scared and disorientated, feeling like she has no control over her happiness and comfort. I hope in her more lucid moments, that she is telling the nurses some of her favorite dirty jokes and laughing so hard that she starts to cry. That is when I love my grandma the most.
Na-na
It is a sunny Sunday afternoon and I am having a very relaxing day since yesterday was crazy. Before I forget I want to tell you about my dream and how I got woken up this "morning." I was having a very bizzare dream - no need to get into all the fucked up details but I do remember that I was at my old house and there was a party. I kept leaving and not helping. Don't know where I went - probably to my present LA partying life and then I would open up a door and be at 331 Forestview again with lots of people there - almost like it was a shiva house though - not a celebratory event. My mom wasn't there is was my Aunts and they were so hurt that I wasn't helping out in the Kitchen or cleaning anywhere else in the house. I kept sneaking a snack and then ducking back out again pouting and chasing my new pet around - he was some hybrid bunny I think. If anyone here really knows me you would know that me having a pet was probably the weirdest part of this dream. Anyway at one point my aunt asked me for some tea - but I spaced out and left. When I came back later to grab something I thought her eyes were going to bug out of her head and she was demanding tea - then my oldest uncle was at the kitchen table and he wanted me to make him some tea. I got so mad at this but wanted to show that I could help so I made cups and cups of tea with honey - which I have never seen anyone in my family drink. There were a lot more things - like a reoccurring piece where I am in a hotel, but do not know how to get to my room...that is a whole other story. Anyway I was feeling really bad about myself when I heard my phone ring and it woke me out of the dream. It was my aunts on the phone - they were cleaning out my grandmas apartment (she is now in the "home") and they wanted to know if I wanted anything. I told them that I wanted some of the pictures that were on the wall, but my one aunt that got very mad at me in the dream got mad at me in real life, and snapped in the background that she was taking all the pictures back to her house and if I wanted them I could make a copy of them the next time I came home to visit. OK. What can I do to help? What can I do to ease my Aunts stress al the way from out here except tell her that I love her, appreciate what she is going through and pray for my grandma that she finds some peace. When I left Buffalo, saying goodbye to my grandmother was so hard. She cried and cried. I think she knew it would be the last time we would see each other. Don't worry, I am not giving up on my grandma - she is a tough lady, but even if I somehow get a chance to go back soon - it isn't the same grandma I used to take out to breakfast or dinner and who would ask me about boys and tell me stories. Having had those moments with her makes my time in Buffalo all that more special. Part of me feels relieved that I don't have to see her like this - scared and disorientated, feeling like she has no control over her happiness and comfort. I hope in her more lucid moments, that she is telling the nurses some of her favorite dirty jokes and laughing so hard that she starts to cry. That is when I love my grandma the most.
Na-na
Friday, April 13, 2007
movin right along...
SHABBAT SHAPROPER everyone...although I have been studying my math for tomorrow's CBEST exam so I am not so proper - just drinking some shabbos wine. Do you guys remember what PEMDAS stands for? So annoying that after all my exoerience - my masters degree and hoop jumping I still have to do math. I'm so bitter. Let me interpret poetrty - write a research paper with the proper footnotes - I dont care but don't make me do math people! Had a second interview today with a very interesting man who had a great attitude about hollywood. I am not sure if I am going to get the job, but I think I impressed him a little. He did ask me if I was single, had ever lived with anyone, how old I am and if I smoked - which is kind of weird..but whatever. I guess I will find out on Monday. One of these days I am going to actually start working out again but it wont be today. Sorry. On Tuesday I am giving a demo lesson at a hebrew day school. I am not sure if I even want to teach again - but they called me today after I sent them my resume a few weeks ago....it was random but I am going to go for it - unless I get that other job - then I will tell them that I can't do it. I guess I am just keeping all my options open. Not much else to report. I had a pretty good run with the boys for a few weeks there but the fire has cooled. No worries. Am watching the Sabres game tomorro with the good doctor - havent seen him since december since he has been skiing up in Mammouth. I got a big check from my moving company for damages to my stuff yesterday - trying to decide if I want to use it to live on or to fix my stuff. I vote for rent and food - and fuck my dinin room table - what do you think? It isnt enough to fix it anyway. Well I really don't have much else to write. I am glad that it is getting lighter later - I a glad that I may have a real job soon - I am glad that I am finally taking this stupid exam so I can get it off my back and I am glad that it is Friday and that there is a 1 in 30 chance that next week could be my last week at Special Artists..... cross your fingers.
Sorry this post is so boring. I am sure I have more exciting things to talk about like Crackie #2 being such a bitch or the fact that when Crackie #1 told me that her boyfriend is broke and she needs to leave him now and how she put the hotel valet for her trist with another man on her boyfriend's credit card....I guess that is more dramatic than studying the dizzying laws of probability - but I dont want to get into it.
Later
Na-na
Sorry this post is so boring. I am sure I have more exciting things to talk about like Crackie #2 being such a bitch or the fact that when Crackie #1 told me that her boyfriend is broke and she needs to leave him now and how she put the hotel valet for her trist with another man on her boyfriend's credit card....I guess that is more dramatic than studying the dizzying laws of probability - but I dont want to get into it.
Later
Na-na
Friday, April 06, 2007
Springing Forward
Hello....writing to you from my desk at work. Had an amazing time in Vegas with everyone - learned how to make delicious matzoh snacks but alas, did not eat any meat. There really is nothing better than being with people who know you better than you know yourself and they still love you!
Since my dna activation I have felt significantly more positive and I keep having these interactions with people that underline my path towards a new, more positive me. For those of you who are waiting for me to pack my bags and move back east - you will have to wait. I moved here for a reason and I am going to stay until I find out (unless of course I get a great job offer from somewhere else:))
Last night I had sushi el fresco with our friend Call me Susan. I haven't seen her in almost a year and the two of us had a great time catching up. She thinks that blogs are totally tmi - but for me, it is a way to keep writing and for some of you that actually take the time to read - catch up on my life and have a good giggle and a relieved sigh that you do not have to live my life. I love CMS because she is brave and brazen and always has a great attitude about things even though life has thrown her some shitty curves. She doesn't seem to dwell in her lot like I do and last night she told me that she made a choice a long time ago to walk the positive path instead of the bitter, really fucked up path that others in similar situations have chosen to take. Yes, we are all fucked up in one way or another - but it is how we choose to perceive our lives and move forward that makes all the difference. At one point during ourevening she told me that people want to be around me - I found that surprising - since sometimes I feel like such a grump. But then she reitertated something that P-1 tells me all the time and I know neither she nor M paid CMS to say it - since I asked! She basically talked about the positive energy that I exude when I am in my comfort zone and that somehow I need to be able to recreate that on a daily basis - even when I am not with the people that I love so much my heart explodes everytime we are all together.
Tonight is the smurf b-day party. I am taking cracky #1 with me as surprisingly enough - since #2 disappeared we have become really great friends. In real life - when she is sober and not around #2 - she is a smart, generous, wonderful girl who is fucked up in so many of the same ways I am and is one of the only people that gets parts of me that no one else can - and everyone needs a friend like that. I am glad that I gave her a second chance. Communication is an amazing tool.
Finally heard from the zine editor - the mag isn't totally dead, but I am not counting on it anymore to launch my amazing writing career. Instead I am going to go for broke and actually send out some of my articles to real places that might (gasp) pay me for my writing. As CMS said last night - the worst they can say is no - and no one every died from a no - right? Vinnie Van Gough aside.
Have a smurftastic weekend. #1 and I are going to a club downtown sat. that is run by this amazingly hot Brittish guy we met at my local watering hole wed. night. He looks like a young Robbie Robertson from the band - and he was wearing a velvet blazer and a blue ruffled tuxedo shirt and whispered analysis of Steppinwolf in my ear as I drank champagne. Yeah, life ain't so bad when you have a good 'tude.
Later....Na-na
Since my dna activation I have felt significantly more positive and I keep having these interactions with people that underline my path towards a new, more positive me. For those of you who are waiting for me to pack my bags and move back east - you will have to wait. I moved here for a reason and I am going to stay until I find out (unless of course I get a great job offer from somewhere else:))
Last night I had sushi el fresco with our friend Call me Susan. I haven't seen her in almost a year and the two of us had a great time catching up. She thinks that blogs are totally tmi - but for me, it is a way to keep writing and for some of you that actually take the time to read - catch up on my life and have a good giggle and a relieved sigh that you do not have to live my life. I love CMS because she is brave and brazen and always has a great attitude about things even though life has thrown her some shitty curves. She doesn't seem to dwell in her lot like I do and last night she told me that she made a choice a long time ago to walk the positive path instead of the bitter, really fucked up path that others in similar situations have chosen to take. Yes, we are all fucked up in one way or another - but it is how we choose to perceive our lives and move forward that makes all the difference. At one point during ourevening she told me that people want to be around me - I found that surprising - since sometimes I feel like such a grump. But then she reitertated something that P-1 tells me all the time and I know neither she nor M paid CMS to say it - since I asked! She basically talked about the positive energy that I exude when I am in my comfort zone and that somehow I need to be able to recreate that on a daily basis - even when I am not with the people that I love so much my heart explodes everytime we are all together.
Tonight is the smurf b-day party. I am taking cracky #1 with me as surprisingly enough - since #2 disappeared we have become really great friends. In real life - when she is sober and not around #2 - she is a smart, generous, wonderful girl who is fucked up in so many of the same ways I am and is one of the only people that gets parts of me that no one else can - and everyone needs a friend like that. I am glad that I gave her a second chance. Communication is an amazing tool.
Finally heard from the zine editor - the mag isn't totally dead, but I am not counting on it anymore to launch my amazing writing career. Instead I am going to go for broke and actually send out some of my articles to real places that might (gasp) pay me for my writing. As CMS said last night - the worst they can say is no - and no one every died from a no - right? Vinnie Van Gough aside.
Have a smurftastic weekend. #1 and I are going to a club downtown sat. that is run by this amazingly hot Brittish guy we met at my local watering hole wed. night. He looks like a young Robbie Robertson from the band - and he was wearing a velvet blazer and a blue ruffled tuxedo shirt and whispered analysis of Steppinwolf in my ear as I drank champagne. Yeah, life ain't so bad when you have a good 'tude.
Later....Na-na
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