Hey everyone. It is the day before Thanksgiving eve and I am very sad. I remember back in the day looking so forward to the Wed. before Turkey day, when I would go to the hockey game with my family and then later on get stupidly drink at some cheesy bar like The Steer. Now I am looking forward to a session with my new trainer and coming home to my little house trying to distract myself with the fact that I am not home with you guys and it sucks. Don't get me wrong - I am glad that I moved here - but at times like these I feel trapped and there is nothing I hate worse in this world that knowing I am missing out on a party - let alone four. I don't want you to feel sorry for me - and I certainly cannot afford to start thinking about what ifs and regrets. I have to believe that there is a reason I am here - a reason that I gave up my house that I loved - a job that I liked a lot - even though it was eating me up inside and all of you - the biggest sacrifice of all. You say you miss me - and I believe it - I do, but you all have your own families - jobs, lives, children and I am here alone with nothing but the ghosts of you, your hugs, your pep talks when I was feeling down - the lady vibe dances when we were all on and just those nights sitting around someone's family room laughing until 2am. There are some of you who are reading this that I cannot remember not knowing and I have to remember that those things are what is real in this life and not necessarily everything that I am chasing (in slow motion it seems.) Sorry to be such a downer - but this blog is a thermometer for my life....
Anyway - I will probably write again before the weekend, but in case you are not checkng your emails etc....just know that I am thinking about you and wishing you all a happy Thanksgiving. When you are all getting together and toasting - drink one for me will ya? And make it the bubbly!
Love - Na-na
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