Men part 1 1/2

I think my wave of men is pushing out with the tide, but hey - you never know! This week's catch wasn't any big thing - literally. Just to recap- Dirty Texter - for some reason I cannot get this guy out of my head. He is someone to be conquered and I am always up for a challenge - even if it is fruitless and the rewards, when they come are unsatisfying at best. We were supposed to hang during the week, be he never called. Then we had this early morning (1:30AM) I'm asleep chat where he told me about french kissing a woman inside another woman's vagina (hot!) and how he liked me just the way I was - as a nice Jewish girl and that I reminded him of his sister ( I thought he only had a brother.) So I keep texting him and we keep not really connecting. He sent me pics of him from the Playboy mansion (no not of THAT!)and he looked so gross. He was dressed up as Gene Wilder from Young Frankenstein and he shaved his beard into a mustache - yuck. All the girls in his pictures looked so skanky and cheap - no wonder he wants me to stay my sweet (ha!) self.


Then there is Mr. Pstz- (you may know him as the guy from the VIP louge.) Here is a guy who is sweet, funny, a good dancer - great ass - but after sleeping together and hanging with mutual friends he STILL does not have my name and # in his cell phone because everytime I call he doesn't know who it is - a sign maybe? OK. I finall broke down and told 1/2 the Cracker posse that we slept together. I HAD to. On halloween Sat. Cracker#2's sister walked into the room and boldly announced that Pstz may have Herpes- because of his skanky ex-wife. They all burst out laughing and I, still keeping this a secret just wished I could dig a hole in the floor and die. I was so uncomfortable and the night was a mess. So the next day when we were actually having fun (see what the happens when you take certain things and people out of the mix) I threw my head into my hands and confessed all to the table and then eventually raised my beet red face and told the girls "tell the truth and shame the devil." Oh yeah - they all cheered me on btw - thought we made a great couple...more on that one later I supppose.

So last night I went to AFI fest with an asst. at a prominent H-wood talent agency and he is pretty - very pretty - so pretty in fact that he told me he used to model while at Columbia - nice right? We had a fun time and really are just friends since I am ten years older and he a young modelly type so he wanted out of there as soon as the movie was over. I was looking sexy though and wasn't ready to go home so I called cracky #2 who informed me that Pstz made some sexual remark to her about me - so now - he knows that she knows - you get the picture. She encouraged me to call him even though we both know Pstz is in love with her - it is the LL/D. Dater syndrome all over again and I am not falling for it twice - please - But I figured - what the hell and the two of us met for drinks. He told me to just drive to Vine and find a bar and he would be there. I did what I was told - I drove to Vine - saw a sign that said coctails and pulled into the parking lot. - The three of clubs - a good enough spot- called him up and told him I found a place and come over to the dive bar on Vine with no name and a sing out front that said "Coctails." How was I supposed to know that there were two of these on the same block!? After a few laps around the bar and wiping away a few ghosts from my last LA lie away, I realized that we were at two differnt bars! The bar he was in (the one that was right in front of my parking spot - btw was great - reminded me of the pink n the Buff - only less crowded. Great DJ dark and dirty with a loft covered in grime and gutted bean bag chairs. Pstz told me that he had his Bachelor party there and we talked, danced, drank and got uncomfortable with each other with a lot of "what?" "I didn't say anything". He talked about how much he liked Cracky #2 - what a tease she was and how there was all this sexual tension between him, Cracky #1, #2 and myself. He suggested we all go out to Lake Havasu and get it all out of our systems. I told him that I thought he was fun and liked hanging out with him - code for - dude, I don't want to marry you - just sleep with you and then he replied with a me too and we toasted to that - oh the old story repeating itself again... I want to be cool with him, but with those dimples it is very difficult. God, I just want to grab him and kiss him at all times, but I have to hold myself back because he doesn't have my name in his phone- he never calls or initiates an email (see a pattern here?)and he loves Cracky #2. Oh yeah, he is also in the middle of a messy divorce and might possibly have herpes! OK so we've ruled out Dirty Texter, Pstz and Model Boy - who in his defense is just fun to look at.

Photoboy. I feel like someone is going to come and arrest me, but then I remember that I am no longer a teacher and it is Ok if I Blanche Dubois it for a little while. Young, young, young man. But this guy is not that kind of prey like Model Boy. He is chubby with a big gut, dresses like a thug, smokes Marlboro reds and has nothing to say for himself (besides the fact that he ranks right up there with The Chestnut as far as size is concerned.) So what/why you ask? Why not - I am on a roll. I haven't hear from him since out date, but I know that he spent over 24 hours straight this week tweaking out with cracky 1&2. Being the me that I am - I texted him a "wazzup" this afternoon and haven't heard back - I don't even like him and I put myself in this position - why do I do that?

Girls - I am not even going to elaborate on boy #4 right now - Mr. Yom Kippur because the truth is - I am a phony. I am not a love em and leave em type. I actually want the guys to stick around and treat me well - you know, care about me. Sat. night Cracky #2 told me that Pstz slept with #1 on Wed. - The night she asked me to meet her out and the night before she began her 42 hour bender with Photoboy - whom I also found out is a manic depressive on Lithium who's parents hired #2's new boy toy to take care of. So I was a little crushed about the Pastease/#1 combo. Sick to my stomache really. I don't want to be a part of that scene anymore. Any advice? More later. Na-na