Decisions...

OK so this past month has been totally insane and I apologize to everyone I havent talked to or emailed lately. I have been back in the swing of hollyweird with this insane boss. IT became this sick game that I was addicted to. Completely stressed out and developing a bad case of insomnia yesterday turned out to be my breaking point. Working 11 hour days does not afford me any time ro energy to look for real jobs, and although I was being offered an excellent opportunity (to start right off as a jr agent instead of waiting a year or two) it didnt seem worth it. The pay still stunk and I would have had to sign a seven yaer contract - which for me (as you know) would be a very, very big deal. Yesterday I had a big disconnect with my boss - it began when she called my cell phone at 7:30 AM...boundaries anyone? She knew I left the night before to go to an interview and while trying to woo me to stay with her, she pushed me away. In the afternoon she was screaming at me because the tax office would not let her pay at the location she drove to, then she screamed at me because the title of the book she asked me to print out was wrong and I should have known that she gave me the wrong title and figured out what the right title was. All of these complaints seem really petty- but when you are working at doing seventeen tasks at once and your mind is trying to figure out the rest of your life on the side - it is hard to take a moment and collect yourself. So after she did her last little bit of screaming at me - forcing me to tell her whether or not I was going to take the job I told her that I was leaving. She started to cry and scream some more and begged me to come into the office today to train the new temp. I did - because #1 I am a sucker #2 It was the right thing to do and #3 I don't want to burn any bridges in this town. Watching her give him the same little psycho talks she gave me was surreal. I realized with a laugh that her life will go on and all that screaming cannot be taken personally - not when it is given out willy nilly to any shmoe that happens to be sitting in that chair. I left fairly early (or when I am supposed to leave) and said my goodbyes. She asked me to give the new asst. my cell phone # but I didn't. I gave her a hig and she whispered to me "You are going to be fine" with a thumbs up. I don't really know what that means - coming from her anyway. I do know a few things: I am a really good assistant. I am a competent professional. I will succeed in any job I put my mind to in this business. Being older may initially turn people off, but now I am sure that it is an asset and I am thankful that I have the wisdom, maturity and experience that I lacked the first time around.

Friday afternoon I have what I hope will be my last interview at another company. The job sounds interesting and something different than I have ever done. Sometimes life opens doors and you need to poke your head in and see if it fits. In the meantime I know I will be OK.

So back to being unemployed - if only for two days.

na-na