And There You Are....

Sometimes you can wonder where your life is - you know, the one you are supposed to be living...and realize that this is it. This is your life and to strain to unwrap yourself from the trappings of it - is to laugh at the universe - because there is no unravelling - It is like when you get a new dvd and you work really hard to take off that plastic wrapping, only to realize that you have mistakenly taken off the cover too in your enthusiasm. So I am stopping to notice that the plastic is off - this is my movie - I bought it, it's already been opened and is ready to watch. It is the watching that is painful -

Yesterday I found out that I didn't get the job with the Lit manager - the one that told me I was the best and asked how old I was and if I was single. I am Ok about it - I knew I wasn't going to end up there and never felt that excited about the job, but the manner in which it was handled was just wrong and made me even more frustrated about Hollywood than I was before. My recruiter told me that they "changed te specs on the job and wanted to go with someone heavier." I guess heavier is hwspeak for someone with more experience. Ummmm to be someone's bitch? I asked her what it was that I was missing but she couldnt answer me because she was full of shit! This was a job that she told me I was allowed to get excited about - that they loved me. When I called last week to see if i could get sent out on more interviews she told me no - to hold on and wait to see if this came through first. BULLSHIT! Then she wanted me to take time out from work so I could sit in her office and talk about what it was that I was doing wrong. Not when I can be making money instead - sorry. I never called to make the appointment. There is not a day that goes by when I do not send my resume out to someone somewhere. TOday - I gave my resume to the company next door to us - what the hell right? They are the producers of Reno 911 - which I think is ridiculous - but people like that shit.

Today at work was really busy for a change. I had a bunch of people come in to record and while I was busy n the booth - Martin Sheen came in and kept giving me the eye like he wanted to talk to me. It wasnt until later tha I realized that he saw me looking at him and talking to the guy in the booth - he probably thought I was talking to him and wanted to know what the hell I was saying. Can I just state for the record that he is the absolute hottest AARP member that I have ever seen? And personally, I'd do him - or at least go out to dinner with him - he is married right? Yeah - just dinner - I bet he would have some great stories to tell. Charlie hasn't come in yet, but I am assuming if he is a younger version of his father????mmmmmmmmm. So yeah, work has some perks and I get to record people and direct them so that they are better cartoon characters or car salesmen.

What else....oh the social life has been a racaus adventure as always, but I am pretty sure that it is time to grow up and change my scene. The problem is that I never meet anyone that is my age or older, bceause they are all married with kids and I am not hanging out at the mommy and me classes and they aren't working with me in the office....so where am I supposed to meet normal people that are my age????

I am supposed to be taking this class that I put a big deposit down for this weekend, but I haven't heard back on whether or not I have been accepted. I have really been looking forward to it - so I hope it all works out. I am volunteering for my boy barak on saturday night after my class at some shi shi club on Sunset...haven't heard back about that either so.....who knows. Still waiting to hear about the teaching job - I think I should be hearing by next week - who knows. I am just going to keep doing what I am doing and try not to stress out about it so much.

The sabres rule - wish I had a tv or better hours so I could sneak off and watch at asports bar.

I am sure there is so much more I want to say. I haven't been having the best luck with the internet so things sort of go out of my mind that I want to put in here.

I miss everyone terribly and cannot wait till I get a chance to go back east.

Much Love,

Na-na