Sunday time sandwhich

Good Afternoon:

It is a sunny Sunday afternoon and I am having a very relaxing day since yesterday was crazy. Before I forget I want to tell you about my dream and how I got woken up this "morning." I was having a very bizzare dream - no need to get into all the fucked up details but I do remember that I was at my old house and there was a party. I kept leaving and not helping. Don't know where I went - probably to my present LA partying life and then I would open up a door and be at 331 Forestview again with lots of people there - almost like it was a shiva house though - not a celebratory event. My mom wasn't there is was my Aunts and they were so hurt that I wasn't helping out in the Kitchen or cleaning anywhere else in the house. I kept sneaking a snack and then ducking back out again pouting and chasing my new pet around - he was some hybrid bunny I think. If anyone here really knows me you would know that me having a pet was probably the weirdest part of this dream. Anyway at one point my aunt asked me for some tea - but I spaced out and left. When I came back later to grab something I thought her eyes were going to bug out of her head and she was demanding tea - then my oldest uncle was at the kitchen table and he wanted me to make him some tea. I got so mad at this but wanted to show that I could help so I made cups and cups of tea with honey - which I have never seen anyone in my family drink. There were a lot more things - like a reoccurring piece where I am in a hotel, but do not know how to get to my room...that is a whole other story. Anyway I was feeling really bad about myself when I heard my phone ring and it woke me out of the dream. It was my aunts on the phone - they were cleaning out my grandmas apartment (she is now in the "home") and they wanted to know if I wanted anything. I told them that I wanted some of the pictures that were on the wall, but my one aunt that got very mad at me in the dream got mad at me in real life, and snapped in the background that she was taking all the pictures back to her house and if I wanted them I could make a copy of them the next time I came home to visit. OK. What can I do to help? What can I do to ease my Aunts stress al the way from out here except tell her that I love her, appreciate what she is going through and pray for my grandma that she finds some peace. When I left Buffalo, saying goodbye to my grandmother was so hard. She cried and cried. I think she knew it would be the last time we would see each other. Don't worry, I am not giving up on my grandma - she is a tough lady, but even if I somehow get a chance to go back soon - it isn't the same grandma I used to take out to breakfast or dinner and who would ask me about boys and tell me stories. Having had those moments with her makes my time in Buffalo all that more special. Part of me feels relieved that I don't have to see her like this - scared and disorientated, feeling like she has no control over her happiness and comfort. I hope in her more lucid moments, that she is telling the nurses some of her favorite dirty jokes and laughing so hard that she starts to cry. That is when I love my grandma the most.

Na-na