No More Drama

Wow. What a weekend. THis is going to be a long post so you'll have to bear with me. I will try to separate in paragraphs to make it more user friendly. So it all began on Friday at 6pm when I was informed that my services were no longer needed at the agency I had been working at so I knew I was starting the weekend off with no work on monday and possibly for a while since the other job wasn't looking good and I wasn't sure if I even wanted it. I went to my friend's going away party very blue and the fact that someone I had just gotten to know and care about was leaving made me even bluer. It is hard to find good, smart peeps who appreciate Buffalo in this town. K - good luck in Brooklyn - I'll miss you. I woke up on Saturday with plans to go to the beach to hang with some girlfriends. During my flirtations with the cute boy from the office on Friday I may have mentioned that he should stop by and hagn out with us. He was in so I thought maybe I might get some action this weekend and if you have been keeping tabs on me through this blog you know it has been a desert during the dry season up in here. A girl needs herself a little lovin now and again and getting from a young cutie never hurts either. I digress. Went to Runyan and the air was so bad (those of you not familiar with air quality concerns may not understand) that when I got to the top I felt like I had asthma and my heart goes out to all of my asthmatic friends because that is a shitty feeling. Yada yada yada I don't get down to the beach until almost 5 and the girls have decided it is too cold (it didnt get into the 90s until today) for the beach so we just played some really bad pool and had burgers at the local "jerry's" like watering hole (without the pickled pigs feet or whatever the hell those things were.) My friend A. gets a call from this hot Brittish guy that showed up to her bday party the week before and he tells her he is going camping and then to surf the next day. They might be driving right by us and may or may not have time to say hi. S - ever the motivator - grabs the phone from her and comes back to the pool table triumphantly stating: "We are going camping." Now I have on beach clothes and although I always carry my sleeping bag in my car - that turkey burger was haunting me, a migrane was beginning to rumble in my head and I really wanted to hang out with the cutie from the office. Needless to say I wasn't that stoked to go. Stacey decides to call the cutie herself and invite him to go with us. He immediately says yes - which coupled with the naughty double entendres he was throwing out on the instant messenger led me to believe that he might lik eme a lil bit more than big sister....

We left the pool hall and headed back to prepare. S - is amazing I hope you guys get to meet this girl - and not just because she is from the Buff. She trhows together in I shit you not 5 minutes - a cooler filled with food and drink and a trunk filled with camping equipment, blankets and extra clothes for everyone since none of us were prepared. When the hotties from San Diego came by they were impressed that we weren't little princesses and were psyched that we were crashing their party. Meanwhile S gave me a vicodin for my migrane, which was not working - which is why I know it was the big M - I have been given shots in the ass before that did nothing to take them away. Lil office cutie comes by and greets me with mucho amounts of affection - I am taken aback but figure I will roll with it - since I am not really working there anymore it will allow us to be much friendlier without feeling wierd. WE take off with the dog in tow and head out to destination unnown. Really - we had no idea where we were going - just the 101 N and the hotties were going to call us from their car when they found a campground and then tell us how to get there. It was a great ride and the dog was cuddling up on our laps - cuties was cuddling with us and we were all singing along to Johnny Cash - OK they were - as much as I liked the movie - I didn't grow up with it and didnt feel like jumping on the bandwagon.

We get to the campsite and set up camp. In my sneaky, haven't been kissed in five months wisdowm, I decide to dontate my sleeping bag to A and make a bed out of the blankets for cutie and I. The big migrane is still there but I am trying to be cool about it and not complain too much - there is a fire and S because shes cool like that just happened to have the ingredients for smores in her kitchen so cutie climbed a tree and got everyone a stick so we could roast the marshmellows. We passed a bottle of wine or two around the camp fire that was actually in a barrell and had a few good laughs. I was so sick I couldnt drink the wine or eat a smore so you know I wasn't faking it. Cutie and I took a walk on the beach - yeah that's right suckas we were camping on the Pacific ocean... the stars were amazing. I haven't seen stars like that since my roadtrip out here in New Mexico and Colorado. HE was feeling frisky and wanted to do naughty, naughty things with me on the beach - but I felt sick and really wasn't ready to be that naughty so I laid down the law but it was still fun to make out with a cute boy as the waves of the ocean roll in and there isnt enough light pollution to block out the stars.

We didn't sleep all night - it was sooooo cold in the tent we just shivered all night. And groped eachother a lil bit - all of us because it was so cold - we were all sleeping on top of eachother. Cutie kept whispering in my ear that he wanted to take me home and balh blah - all night and all the next day - he wouldnt let up. I was like why the hell not right? I mean there is nothing like good old sexual tension. When we got up in the morning we realized that we were plopped in the middle of the mountains and slap dab next to the beach - what a great way to greet the day - it was amazing there - really. We drove into Santa Barbara with the puppy and ate brinch outside and then went shopping at the outlet mall where I purchased a fabulous new sundress which I need a lot of because it is already in the 90s - what is it going to be like in June???

Fast forward we are back at S's beach house and cutie asks me again if I will go home with him - I say yes and we leave. We get to his place and he lives in a dumpy town (long beach) in a dumpy neighborhood (sketchville - more than my lil sketchville) in a dumpy, dirty, ugly bachelor galore apartment. I assess and remind myslf that this is not a long term thing - I mean he is only 26 and lives over an hour away so just enjoy it while it lasts. I dont want to go into too much detail but we had a good time that afternoon together and all those weeks of flirting at the office paid off - well at lest for him it did - that kid didn't knowwhat hit em. Afterwords we went into town for dinner and I could tell that he was stressed out. We couldnt find parking and I could see his little wheels moving in his well- coiffed head. On the way to the restaurant he was contemplating the prices at the place he wanted to take me to beacuse it was pricey. REminding me that this guy was just as broke as I was and that we could never really date - not for real. BUT I forgot to mention that he surprised me on our camping trip with his brains - he is really bright and that was a big turn on - I had no idea. So at dinner I gave him an out and told him I would leave he said no - it was a long way back and we were both exhausted.

We got back and he planted me on the couch and started to do little household errands - check his email - do his laundry make some phone calls. I felt pretty silly sitting there, but School of Rock was on and I like that movie so I sat and laughed and watched him ocd and adhd all over the apartment. An hour and a half later he comes and sits down and HE picks Jesus Christ Superstar which we both sing along to and I feel like even though this kid has been a bit of a tool for the past 3 hours or so - is very cool since he knows the word to Too Much HEaven On Their Minds. When the movie is over he asks me to cuddle up to him where he proceeds to say "I really want to be my friend and I am only saying that because I really mean it." Even though I have been thinking all along that we arent really right for each other and it would never work out this line hits me like a ton of bricks - what happened? He had just been loving me up for 24 hours and now all the sudden he decides that we are just going to be friends? Did we even go out on a date yet? I was so confused that I actually felt hurt and used. I didn't sleep all night because righ tbefore we went to bed he asked me how I felt and if I was upset and he laid on the bullshit that I get from a lot of guys about how comforatble they feel with me and how nice I am and blah blah and it felt good so they didnt want to stop, but they don't want anything more than what just happened. Once again. Fuck and Run as Liz Phair says. SO I feel like an asshole laying in his bed. When we get up at 6am he futzes around again - wait. I need to tell you that it was way more than just physical flirting that happened before thei friends thing. He shared very intimate deep secrets with me and when we got to his lace the first thing he did was show me his camp photoalbum and tell me all about his childhood etc... It got pretty intense and in no way resembled a one night stand. AND earlier that day he told me that he had gotten very flirty with the cool French girl at work, but there just wasn't that je ne sais quoi and so he cut if off and she was pissed at him and said he led her on - this should have been a big warning to me, but I always figure that I am the one that is going to change the guy right?

Back ot the AM - it is early and it is now going on 2 days that I haven't slept. I ask him the whats and whens of his 180 in terms of "us" that never existed and he gave me all these lines about how we just weren't on the same level and I was going to br this amazing big thing and he was just doing his thing - really do guys take classes on how to give this speach? So we are outside and he tells me that I am sexy and beautiful and smart and nice and wonderful....I am sorry - even though I dont want a relationship with this guy I am confused as to what the fuck was missing?? So he tels me to meet him in Santa Monica for lunch so we can talk about this some more because he really fels like he has to have me in his life. Oh shit - I forgot to tell you that when I got upset that morning in his room he asked me to close my eyes and he put in my hand his pillsbury dough boy doll that I admired the night before. My cousin Marcy had them in her room growing up and I loved them (she had the boy and the girl dolls that both giggled.) This doll was given to him by his favorite camp counselor when he first made it to staff and it meant a lot to him - he wanted me to have it. Please people I am going to give it back - plus it gives me the creeps I keep thinking it is going to get possesed by Gozer the Gozerian and take over my apartment.

Cut to today - I go for a run in the park to clear my head - nothing like climbing a mountain to give you perspective (yeah suckas!) and then got 8 missed calls on my phone when I got home from my recruiter and my potential future boss. They had another assignment for me today but I missed it and they were fighting over me again. My recruiter was threatening them again with sending me on more interviews and it was once again getting ugly. I showered, put on my new dress with my ubiquitous brown boots - threw on my favorite hat and set out for Santa Monica - not really knowing why I was driving an extra two hours out of my way to tell a boy that he was an ass. But I saw the pilsbury fucking dough boy and realized that even though he pulled this shitty maneuver - he was still a nice guy and I genuinely liked him adn wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt -PLUS I looked so cute and I wanted him to get a glimpse of what he could no longer have - since all weekend I looked pretty campy/nappy.

We met up and walked to the peer. I gave him alittle speech about how this should be a teachable moment for him and told him how he should have handled the situation - he agreed and felt really bad about the whole thing - but he was still putting his arm around me and holding my hand which was confusing and annoying. Anyway - we were right in the thick of it when the new boss lady called and told me she had to talk to me. "Where are you?" Did these people expect me to sit in a wuiet place waiting by the phone all day long? PLease. So I told her I would call her back later. As we were walking back it occured to me that now that his guilt was assuaded I would never see him again. I told him so - he said no but I know it's true. I have to say that he said some really kind things about me. Sincerely, original kind things that made me feel ok about things and myself. WE had an awkward hug goodbye and I got back in my car right away (after I figured out where I parked) so I didn't have to pay for parking. THere was a message on my vm from future boss lady saying that everything was fine and I would start tomorrow. THrough the ride home I negotiated that I would temp for her for a month at a higher temp rate and then after a month we would all see what was best for all involved. This amde me feel much better about things because such a big part of me is unsure about both the company and the job. I got home - went and got an iceblended and a newspaper and sat melting in the hot hot heat for a while. On my way home I mentioned to once very special Buffalonian how I needed to hear Mary J. Blidges No More Drama song - she had never heard it and asked if it was really a song. Oh yeah I replied. When I was waiting for my banana caramel light ice blended (heaven) there is was this song that must be like 5 years old by now - playing on the in house muzak - No More Drama. A sign??? I got home and checked my email - there was one from the lady I worked for last week that had warned me about the new boss lady. I emailed her my resume as I already mentioned in the previous post. IT took her till today to respond - but to be fair - she is going on an Italy vacation with Frankenfurter so I'm not offended. Her response was - call me when you get a minute. I call her and she tells me that she wants me for herself - that she thinks she can really teach me the business if I want it. I tell her that I am just temping for the other woman and technically am open to offers. She tells me "Good then we will ahve time to continue this conversation." Still - she had better come up with a better paycheck and some opportunity if that is going to happen. At least I know that I am worth fighting over - even if it is between two menapausal blonds and not two buff young cutie pie studs.

Congrats if you made it this far. I start the new job tomorrow. Love to you all.
Na-na